If you've been a fan of this site for awhile, first, thank you, but second, you'll know we have no sympathy for "Disney Complainers". You know the type.
The ones who despite having open theme parks in their back yard will complain about this not being centered.
The placement of this is mildly humorous at best, not something that needs to be endlessly mocked on social media or that you need to spend 2 hours complaining about on YouTube to get hits.
And I say this as somebody who has OCD about these kinds of things.
So I figured I'd be nice and share some things you can spend your disposable income and free time on, since Disney so obviously doesn't care about you and your want of things perfectly centered (and the other million things you always complain about).
Seriously, you're in Florida, go to the beach. Learn to surf. Ron Jon offers Surf Lessons for $65 an hour. And then once you know how to surf, the beach is free and stuff. Although you'll probably complain about something like too many fish in the water or something.
Speaking of beach stuff, The Dive Station in Orlando offers Scuba lessons. Maybe you can finally find nemo?
NASCAR Driving Experience
Physical activity not your thing? Sitting in a car your thing? Most NASCAR tracks have driving experiences. Check them all out! Here is the info for the one at Daytona. We promise, you'll still get to compare it to Tomorrowland Speedway.
National Parks Pass
Still want something to do with "parks", still need a "pass" of some kind? Look no further than our national parks. And you'd be doing something constructive with that hard earned money. You think 4 theme parks is a lot? How about 133 destinations your pass is good at.
You obviously LOVE to take pictures of stuff. Maybe branch out and find something else to take pictures of. Architecture. Nature. Cracks in the ground. It's all there for the taking! Literally!
Maybe you're tired of taking pictures of things, maybe paint them instead?
Ok, you may have to wait a bit for this one, but concerts are freaking awesome. Follow The Grateful Dead on a nationwide tour. You'll meet some interesting people that will surely be memorable.
Find your local Starbucks and finally get started on your great American novel.
You're a Disney fan, so maybe you're not into high thrills, but maybe you are. Jump out of a perfectly good airplane! We promise, the first time you have something to complain about with this hobby you won't have time to actually complain about it. Tampa even has a Parachute Rigging and Sales company.
Have that itch to flip things on eBay? Think Disney has the market cornered on it? Well think again. Air Jordan's. Purses. Used clothing. You can totally scam people and have nothing to do with Disney. It's still possible to make your dreams come true!
Other Theme Parks
You think you find a lot of things to complain about at Disney? Oh boy. Let us introduce you to the plethora of other theme parks out there. Coasters with exposed steel, front of the line passes you have to actually pay for, hotels not within walking distance to the park. Oh, and most of them aren't even open every day. (seriously, don't do this one)
This one definitely is the one for those of you who like to just stay home and rant online. But instead of putting those fingers to work on your keyboards, put them to work on a guitar fret. Or better yet, get an actual keyboard and become the next keyboard superstar. Even better still, get a Keytar!!
Still feel the need to take pictures around man-made things? Did you know there are entire cities out there just for the exploring? And those cities sometimes even have hidden (backstage!) things to find?
Jim Cantore can't chase those hurricane's forever. That could be you!!! You can warn all the people who still appreciate and love Disney to stay away from the parks.
We've saved the best for last. How about just going to Disney, being appreciative that you're alive at the same time that Disney Parks exist, maybe have some FUN in the parks (and online). I promise you, it's a much more fulfilling existence even if it may cut into your ad revenue a bit.
Yesterday we were sent some pictures of Lagoon Park in Utah by a friend, always excited to get pictures of parks, especially during this time when so few of them are open.
Sadly, what I saw in these pictures made me upset more than anything, and I'll try and explain why.
Whether you choose to believe it or not, we are in the middle of a global pandemic.
Whether you refuse to believe it or not, the numbers from that pandemic are going up, while we are opening more and more things.
Whether you want to believe it or not, wearing a face covering and social distancing from others as much as possible DOES help.
Now, I will say, we've been getting conflicting information from the WHO and CDC since this began, with disastrous results. Not because they aren't doing their jobs, but people (as a whole) don't really understand how science, and testing of a new disease works.
See, we are still learning about the virus. So at first we over-prepare and over-compensate. And then as we learn more information about that virus, that information gets released. That means that what was said in March doesn't necessarily apply in June. And what is said now won't necessarily apply in October.
And now, RIGHT NOW, the experts are saying that wearing a face covering and social distancing are the way to go.
So if you want things to open up, and we ALL do, then the VERY LEAST we can do is to wear a face covering and try to social distance as much as possible.
So we'll start this off with a graphic of current COVID-19 cases in Utah.
Not pretty, right? And I'm not trying to pick on Utah here because the numbers are going up everywhere, but ouch.
And here are the pictures from Lagoon Park. Yesterday. June 10th. Two Days after they saw their highest number of cases. Ever.
You can click the images, and try and find the people wearing face coverings. I noticed 2. In all of the pictures.
Folks, this is not the way.
If you want things to open, this is not the way.
If you want to get back to what some may call a "normal" life, this is not the way.
If you really do care about "all lives", this is not the way.
And of course, with the numbers going up some are already blaming this on protests. Look at the pictures from those protests. You probably have 95% of people wearing face coverings. In the same summer heat as Lagoon Park, and sometimes much hotter.
If people who are protesting for something as important as Black Lives Matter, and are able to wear a face covering, the VERY LEAST you can do is wear one on a roller coaster.
Do I like wearing a face coverings? Hardly. I have asthma. It's not the easiest thing in the world. But I even take one with me when I run. Because I'm trying to be courteous to my fellow humans. And that's all anybody is really asking for.
So when these parks and other places do start to open, and face coverings are required, don't yell at the front line employees or cast members. They aren't the ones making these decisions. The decisions are being made at the very highest levels in an attempt to keep everybody safe.
And please, smaller parks, take a look at your policies regarding face coverings. And maybe start requiring them. Because, as I've said all along, an outbreak traced back to one theme park, is bad for all theme parks.
Are face coverings 100% effective, do they know 100% of the science behind it? No way. And if the experts say something different about face coverings in a few months, we'll try that too.
But the least we can do is try to do the right thing in these uncertain times.
- Gregg Condon: Editor in Chief
June 13th Update. Lagoon Park has updated their park policy regarding masks and now require them in queue lines. You can read those details at the link below.
To this point, we've kind of avoided getting into the "theme parks are going to open on such and such a date" conversation. And I'm not really going to get into that here.
I just wanted to do a quick post and tell you why theme park openings are not "imminent", despite 100 articles telling you they are.
Written by Gregg Condon
Update 5/20/2020: California Theme Parks
Governor Gavin Newsom signed an executive order on May 6th. This order states that if you report to your employer's worksite between March 19th and July 5th, and get COVID-19, you can file a workers compensation claim.
So what do I think this means? The VERY EARLIEST parks could open in California would be July 15th. Why do I say that? Because you have to get the parks up and running. And with this order parks aren't going to want to bring in staff to train/get the parks ready until at least July 6th. Workers compensation claims aren't easy or cheap to file.
You can see all of the details about this executive order here.
Be sure to check out the rest of my opinions about theme parks opening from April below.
Imminent: ready to take place - happening soon
Even if parks in (insert state here) got the go ahead to start reopening today there is still a laundry list of things that must be done before they could actually open.
Rehiring of staff:
Staff has been furloughed in many cases, let go in others. Anybody with any kind of HR experience will tell you that it's much quicker to tell people to leave than to get them to come back. Some employees may be sick. Some may have gone home to stay with parents (WDW College Program anybody?). Some employees may simply feel that it's not safe for them to do so.
Hiring of new staff to replace staff that aren't coming back:
There will be some staff that aren't coming back. Some may have found other work. Others may just choose to stay away. That means hiring new people. Including background checks. Drug testing. You want to know how much stress medical labs are under right now? You think drug testing is their highest priority?
Retraining of existing staff:
Do you really want people coming back to work without having done that job for 2 months? What about the new guidelines they'll have to follow in order to actually reopen. That requires training. That means being in close contact with each other before the parks even open. And this doesn't even take into consideration training for the plethora of new attractions that are ready to open.
Training of new staff:
In addition to the retraining of existing staff, you have to train all of your new staff. But what if all of your trainers are busy training the existing staff in their new guidelines? Not a whole lot of time to do this.
You want to eat right? Food orders must be placed. But wait, food distribution for commercial businesses needs to restart too. I'm sure you've all seen the reports of crops being pretty much destroyed right now because there is no place to send this stuff. Or of the massive outbreaks of Covid-19 at meat processing plants. That's not something that is just going to ramp up quickly.
Testing of Rides:
Depending on the state, and how long the parks have been closed, some may require state inspection. Do you know how many inspectors there are? Are they going to actually be back at work? And what about those new rides? They must go through all of their testing and inspection guidelines prior to opening.
Right now the "preliminary" guidelines that came out for Florida parks are talking about 50% capacity in the parks. Do you know many businesses that can actually survive on 50% of their income? While paying all of their employees? And all of the other utilities that come along with running a theme park? Will it even be worth it for parks to open at reduced capacity?
Outbreak traced back to theme parks:
We've gone this far down and haven't even talked about the elephant in the room yet. What if, after let's say, Magic Kingdom opens and a mass outbreak is traced back to them. That is bad for the ENTIRE Theme Park industry. Consumer confidence is low right now. You get bad news out of a theme park and it goes even lower. Theme park companies know this.
Will people actually want to go?
At the end of the day, parks are going to do what they feel is best. And people are going to do what they feel is best. We're in a "theme park fan bubble". Where we are seeing our fellow fans eager to go back to the parks. But we are a very small percentage of overall attendance. Sure, we've seen people pack beaches over the past few weeks, but that's way cheaper than visiting a theme park. Will the "general public" actually feel safe going back to theme parks right now?
So when do I think parks are going to open? When we start getting emails from parks with dates they will open. That's when. Anything more than that right now is speculation.
But even when parks get the go-ahead to open, it doesn't mean they are going to open the next day. There is going to be a delay even then. And I think we all need to be prepared for that.
Share your thoughts below. Am I totally off-base here or am I making even a little bit of sense?