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YOUR CART

7/12/2016

If we were the boss of ... 

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The other Day RD and Gregg took one of those stupid Facebook quizzes ... "what is your true profession" (because we all know this isn't it). 
Both got something theme park related so that then turned into expanding on our ideas to have some fun with them. So below you'll find "How RD would run Six Flags Over Georgia" and "If Gregg was the boss of Knott's Berry Farm". We hope you enjoy. 

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​How I'd run SFoG 

First... PAINT! PAINT! PAINT! It is astounding how many attractions could use a freshening up... granted, some attractions wouldn't need paint, as they're on the way out the door. 

Starting in the front of the park, Georgia Cyclone would find itself with a GCI makeover - new track, trains, paint & lumber. Turn it into the top-10 coaster it could be. Refresh the awnings leading around to the former Acrophobia site... which is now a Gerstlauer Sky Roller known as The Barnstormer. 

Heading through the upper midway area, additional green spaces would be created via new planters - and new shade coverings.  Pavement would be updated to remove the asphalt feel - and add in new ground options to make it look better. ​
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If I was the boss of Knott's Berry Farm 

First things first ... BRING BACK THE PARACHUTE JUMP!! Sure, when I posted this on my Facebook the initial reactions from friends was "no, Haunted Shack" or "no, Soapbox Racers" or "no, remove Xcelerator" (that was RD). But hey, I'm the boss, and well, if we're going to do this, we're going to do it right. And the first thing is to bring back the Parachute's. 

Obviously some major changes would have to take place like the removal of the nearby games, moving the nearby flat ride (again, more on that below) and of course making it so people can't jump out. 

​But that's for others to figure out, I just say what I want and it's up to everybody else to figure out how to do it.

​I'm just the idea guy here. 
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​Heading around the corner to the USA theme area, we see the second big change: Goliath is no more. Extracting it and sending it to SFStl (You're welcome, Stan...) In it's place is a new MACK Hypercoaster - with high-speed lift system. The new coaster is a bit longer than before, with an interesting mid-course derivation: A twister section where the old B&M's helix was.  The USA section will now also see the return of Looping Starship - for the third time. 

Heading down the hill, Joker's Chaos will be no more. In its place, Justice League 4D fills in the space where Axis Theater currently stands. Next to it, Crime Wave is moved into place, and the land next to MindBender becomes "Herr Anton's" - the first full-service dining room in the park, with an overlook at the MindBender. 

As for BatClone, it flies off into the sunset. The land there is reclaimed... and becomes a Gerstlauer Infinity II launch coaster. Using a name from another park, you're flying across the course on BATWING
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Staying in the Boardwalk area, Boomerang is GONE. Like maybe even before the Parachute jump. And in it's place, will be the moved flat ride from the Parachute Jump a new Ferris Wheel and a few more flat rides (new generation Enterprise) to fill out the Boardwalk theme. 

Next, we'll move over to Xcelerator. As much as we love this ride, it's time to let another park love it more. So we'll be sending it off and building a Mack Blue Fire in it's place. 

Finally, moving towards the other end of the Boardwalk, we realize we made a huge mistake with Voyage to the Iron Reef and we'll be bringing in Sally Corp to do a complete Omnimover (high capacity) dark ride. 

As much as we'd love a Haunted Shack themed dark ride, comparisons to that other park a few miles away would run rampant so instead we'll have a semi-remake of Beary Tales but built for a new generation of theme park fans to love and cherish. 
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Heading down the hill, we pass in to Lickskillet - and where WhistleStop Junction & the Go Karts once stood is a new wood coaster from the good folks at GCI - Black Bear now growls through the back end of Lickskillet, effectively creating a new backdrop.  Proceeding into this theme area we are blessed with the return of Wheelie in place of SkyScreamer. Blue Hawk has been removed, opening the lake again to what it once was. 

Entering Cotton States exhibition, Great American Scream Machine has an entirely new track & fresh paint, giving her the lustre she deserves. SkyScreamer now resides where the SkyCoaster WAS - it having been sold to another park which deserves it.  The entrance to Hurricane Harbor is now more centered, and has a new shopping gallery & dining location, plus larger bathrooms for the park guests. 
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Sticking with the back end of the park, Pony Express will be re-named and extended to go around Bigfoot Rapids even more, interacting with tunnels and more. This would also add more tunnels to Bigfoot Rapids and a Bigfoot animatronic finale. 

Moving backstage, we would move as much of the backstage warehouses into the hotel lot as possible (and expand the Beach Blvd parking lot to accommodate the loss of parking on busy days)

In it's place, you got it, B&M Hyper coaster (finally). Not a Giga, Knott's isn't the right place for it, but this ride would span the entire new area with an expanded Wilderness theme that already includes Bigfoot Rapids,  expanded (and re-named) Pony Express and Mystery Lodge. This would also include stables for the horses from the Stagecoach (more on that below)
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Heading into Metropolis Park, the first thing you notice is that Superman has flown off into the sunset. Here, a set of Metropolis themed buildings are joined by two new flats - A HUSS Troika and a Gerstlauer BayernKurve, themed to appropriate Metropolis villians. And arising from Superman's former location, a new MACK Blue Fire system coaster, custom built in Red, Yellow & blue. But this time, Wonder Woman's in control - with Wonder Woman's Lasso Of Truth, a 9 inversion, 75 MPH twisting steel coaster. 

Crossing over into the middle of the park, the Super Friends theme area continues it's growth, but with the removal of Splashwater Falls, a new MACK log flume is added - and becomes AQUAMAN. This flume has some additional theme elements to make it a family-friendly addition to the park, as well as extending the Superfriends theme area further. 

The idea is to update SFoG but not to eliminate its charm. Give the park some insne new theme attractions, while still keeping the family in mind. 

(Plus... Everybody loves a few new good Germans....) ​
Moving over to Ghost Town we're going to add ... well, nothing. We're going to continue the amazing work that has been done in Ghost Town the past 5 or so years. 

The area around Silver Bullet will be redone to blend it more into Ghost Town and not just concrete. 

Jaguar will be removed and a Vekoma family coaster using pretty much the same layout will be put in it's place. New trains and new design will allow this ride to go back to it's rightful 42" height requirement, making a truly unique and fun family coaster for all to enjoy. 

In addition a new family flat ride will be added in the Windseeker spot. 

Montezooma's Revenge will be remov...I mean remodeled (trying to give RD a heart attack) with a redesigned station layout to better accommodate ADA and Fast Lane. In addition to a new launch system done by Gerstlauer (flywheel) the ride will return to it's natural yellow. 

Finally, Garner Holt will build a Peanuts themed dark ride in Camp Snoopy utilizing the area where the caves are and some of the area currently used for the Stagecoach, who's time has unfortunately come. 

So what do you think? Do you like our ideas for these two respective parks? What do you agree or disagree with? Let us know in the comments below. 

If you'd like to take the silly Facebook poll, you can do so here. Let us know if you get anything fun. 

Related Updates: 
  • From the Mind of the Editor: Hey Traditional Media
  • July 6, 2016 - Obsolete (RD Sussman)  
  • From the Mind of the Editor: Enjoy All The Things
  • August 20, 2015 - Fanboy Fertilizer and other BS (RD Sussman)
  • ​From the Mind of the Editor: Scare Actor Abuse at Halloween Events


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